What a wonderful day today was! We were able to go to church and worship our Lord and Savior, and I was able to do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day.
My day started out pretty normal. Very slow and lazy. Before I knew it, it was time to get ready for church. I went to go pick out an outfit, and ONCE AGAIN, pretty much nothing fit! No, I don't mean the typical "nothing" so that I can go shopping :). I mean I put on a pair of my favorite, dressy capris, and the pockets were majorly pulling! I thought my favorite blouse would cover the "snug look", however, my blouse was even smaller than my capris! Oh, I was able to get it buttoned, but the 2 inch gap in between the buttons was not going to work for church! So, ONCE AGAIN, the overwhelming feeling came over me. I am F-A-T! And, ONCE AGAIN, my loving husband reasurred me I wasn't, and that I was beautiful.
So, finding something that was incredibly tight, but worked, I went on to ONCE AGAIN plaster makeup on my face and do my hair just right so that I could look just right.....at church. ONCE AGAIN, I became more concerned about my looks than my attitude toward God.
ONCE AGAIN I allowed myself to hear ED (remember - Eating Disorder). He told me I needed to loose all this weight again. If only I could get back down to where I was just a few short months ago, all those cute clothes would fit. But I told myself I didn't want to go back to "dieting". I love to eat! I am enjoying eating! (I have a bowl of ice cream sitting next to me right now as I am typing this.) The thought of watching every little morsel that I eat makes me sad. I don't want to go there again, but I don't want to keep gaining weight either! I hate this! I hate this! ONCE AGAIN, ED is knocking on my door and I am trying, with all my strength, to keep the door closed! I am beautiful........right????
However! ONCE AGAIN, God reminded me throughout this week of the many, wonderful, true friends I have and how loved I am. ONCE AGAIN, God reminded me, this week, that my family is, indeed, right by my side, every step of the way, and they do love me and are proud of me. ONCE AGAIN, God has put visions in my mind of me dancing with Him someday. I invision it to be in a huge ball room. And everyone is watching. Something like Cinderella.
Psalm 71:21 says, "You will increase my honor and comfort me ONCE AGAIN".
ONCE AGAIN, I am in awe of God and His love for me and His concern for me.
God bless you!
Jenny I think that you are the most beautiful Women that i have ever know and im not lyeing either i love your smile and you always make me happy when i see you even when im sad when i come to church you light up my life you put the sunshine in my heart once again i was depress when i was at the hospital with harli and when you came up there you just made my day i was so happy to see you I just want you to know that you may think that you are fat but you know what you not fat. and I think God has given you a great gift and that is putting sunshine in people that are have a hard time because like i said when i see you. you make me happy and i love it even when you are on facebook and i see your face with that great smile it just make me happy again thanks for being that great person that i see in you love in Christ Vicke
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