SERIOUSLY!

There's this phenomenon going on that all of us women are well aware of.  Just about every magazine we see, commercial we watch and song we listen to.  We read books on it, scripture on it, talk to each other about it, and do what we can to deal with it.  Do you have a clue what I'm talking about?  Have you dealt with it yourself?  I know I have.  And do.  It's our beautiful image.  And why, oh why, do we struggle so much with it?  Why do we get so sucked into it?  Believe me, this is one of my biggest struggles.  And don't tell me I'm alone.

Why is it that standing in line at the grocery store, staring at those magazine covers telling me how to loose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving can make me want to back out of that line and start over with my shopping?  Or how about that dreaded feeling when you run into someone at the store and you start comparing what's in her cart verses yours?  SERIOUSLY???

And how about music?  Have you thought about how many songs talk about our beauty?  Mandisa tells us that "The hands that made the moon and stars, the mountains and the seas, made us wonderful, beautiful, marvelously.  Let the whole world see your TRUE beauty...", Jonny Diaz says "There could never be a more beautiful you", and Steven Curtis Chapman tells us "You're a masterpiece that all creation quietly applauds, and you're covered with the fingerprints of God".  But it's not just Christian artists!  What about the secular world of music?  Selena Gomez asks, "who says your not beautiful?", Christina Aguilera says, "you are beautiful so don't ever forget it", and those 5 British guys (oh, sorry, one's Irish), can't figure out why I'm insecure because apparently I'm turning heads when I walk through the door and I don't need make-up to cover up because being the way that I am in enough!  SERIOUSLY????  Oh, wait, I have a feeling those guys weren't intending for that song to get the attention of a 39 year old woman.  But it has.  Along with every other song, book, and magazine out there.

Why, girls, are we so sucked in to how we look?  Why do we worry about how others will judge us by our appearance?  Okay, let me just stop here and say that if you are a very confident woman and you do not struggle with your image at all and never have, than now would be a good time for you to stop reading and head over to another blog.  Thanks for stopping though.

Set aside all those songs, books and magazines and look with me to the One and Only Book that matters, that speaks truth to me and you.  My favorite verse of all time is Psalm 45:11: "The King is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your Lord."  Did you get that?  The King is enthralled by our beauty!  SERIOUSLY!!  And not the worlds view of beauty either.  Not just the right clothes, or make-up, but our real beauty.  The beauty that comes from being created in His image.  This really hits home for me.  My biggest downfall is making sure I look "just right".  In fact, I have been known to say, "I need to go put my face on" when I go put on my make-up.  How sad is that?  Why would I want someone to see me exactly how God created me?  Because I'm afraid of what they might think of me.  I'm afraid they won't except me for who I am.  I'm afraid.  But why?  If the King of kings and Lord of lords, who created me exactly how I am because that's how HE wanted me, is enthralled with my beauty, why am I so afraid?  SERIOUSLY!!  Because satan knows right where to get us.  He knows what defeats us.  I'm sick of feeling defeated.  Are you?

Now, I'm not saying make-up is bad, or nice clothes are bad.  I would be a hypocrite if I said that.  I like to look nice and I believe we need to take good care of ourselves so we can take good care of others.  But am I using these things to cover up the real me?  Are we allowing ourselves to be consumed with it?  When we just can't leave the house without make-up on, or our hair done, or just the right outfit on, that may be a clue that we are consumed.  And I know what it is like to be consumed with self-image.  Satan took hold of that insecurity and ran with it, bringing me down the path of an eating disorder a few years ago.  I was so consumed with body image I couldn't hear anyone else's voice but satans.  It was scary.  We need to stand strong in God and believe Him when He tells us He is enthralled with our beauty.  That is the only way to stand up to satan.    

So I have an idea girls.  Are you ready for this?  What if, the next time we go to the store, we pick a woman out of the crowd, and tell her she's beautiful.  SERIOUSLY!  Who are we to judge what woman has it all together?  It may be the one who looks sad, or the one who is struggling with her 2 year old throwing a fit (or 12 year old for that matter), or maybe it's that one who looks like she has it all together, wearing just the right outfit and wearing just the right make-up.  Maybe all that woman desires is for someone to tell her she is beautiful.  The King is enthralled with her beauty.  Maybe YOU would give anything for someone to tell YOU just how beautiful you are.

My dear, hear me loud and clear: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!  THE KING IS ENTHRALLED WITH YOUR BEAUTY!

Let's start a new trend.  Who cares if the women we say this to give us a funny look or say, "say what?"  Just smile, and let her know you just wanted her to know she is beautiful.  Let's get our focus off those magazine covers, and stop trying to cover up who God created us to be.  Let's do this for our daughters, sisters, moms, friends, OURSELVES.  

Ladies, we are beautiful!  The King can't take His eyes off of us!

in HIM I'M secure

I'm so frustrated! No, I'm downright mad! Wait, actually, I am absolutely furious! I am so fed up with being insecure! I can hardly take it anymore! It seems like every single day insecurity is patiently waiting for me to wake up. And as soon as I'm awake, it's right there making sure I'm comparing myself to so-and-so, or making sure I'm convincing myself I'm not good enough, or that I can't reach the dreams I have. REALLY?? By noon I can hardly convince myself that I'm good enough for lunch! HAA!!

Last week my kids and I went on our annual camping trip with a great group of friends. We do this every year the week after school is out. Of course, insecurity packed it's bags and came along. There were times when I was convinced that these friends must not want to be around me because of how I act or what I might have said. Their words and actions gave NO validation to these feelings, but insecurity told me so. On one particular afternoon when I was walking my beloved "princess" (note picture and proof of royalty), a thought, no, more like a conversation, crossed my mind. It was a conversation I imagined having with God. It went something like this: "What was that God? I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. But did you see how I acted yesterday in front of everyone? I'm so dumb! I can't believe I am like that. What did you say God? Anyway, why do I say things like that! I mean, it sounds good in my head, but when I say it, it sounds so dumb! Hmm? What God? No, sorry, I am too busy day dreaming. You know what I would absolutely LOVE to do, don't you. And it is so fun to think that you may very well be calling me to this. But, do you remember a while ago when someone told me I was just chasing after my minds affection and my hearts desire? That really hurt God. What if that is what I'm doing? What if that is all I've ever done? (now imagine my thoughts pausing long enough for God to get a word in edgewise here) Wait, what God? You what?..."
And all of a sudden, insecurity shut up.

When I reflect on all the relationships God has put in my life, whether great, or difficult, there is one in particular that insecurity is loud and clear. A relationship that God has given me that has blessed me more than I could have ever imagined. A relationship that is more important than any other relationship I have. My husband. Now let me just stop here a minute and take a breath, because I am about to get very, very vulnerable. No, I'm serious. Like, I really can't believe I'm going to "go there". But I have to. Because for some strange reason, I don't think I'm alone here. So, here goes. You see, my husband doesn't care if I'm a size 2, or a size 20. He loves me for me. He thinks I am completely beautiful. He is passionate for me. Even after having 4 kids! How in the world does he not see me how I see myself in the mirror? To me, my body is so not attractive. But to him, it is. Are you tracking with me here? I sure hope so, because just typing this I'm blushing. Please don't make me explain more. It took some dear friends to tell me this last night at dinner. They helped me to see that it isn't what I think of myself that my husband is attracted to, it's ME. IT'S ME! When I allowed myself to think that, insecurity shut up!

So what was it that God was trying to tell me that got insecurity to shut up? Let me paraphrase Psalm 139 for you: "Jenny, I have searched you and I know you...I am familiar with all your ways....I created you to be exactly how you are...I created all of you....and every single one of your days are written down....by me." Insecurity isn't the only one quiet here. So am I. But I'm quiet because I'm in awe of God's amazing love for me.

I was posed a question a few days ago: "whose opinion of me matters most ~ God's or others?" That was convicting! Of course, I want to say God's, but way too often I allow others opinions of me to matter most. But it's time for that to be done. It's time for me to let God's unconditional love flow over me and through me. He is the only one who's opinion matters to me. It's when I allow Him to put himself right in the middle of my insecurities, I'm no longer insecurity, but secure in Him.

Are you friends with insecurity? Don't let it's voice be louder than Gods. It is He who made you, and you are His. He created you to be exactly how you are. Don't let anyone's opinion steal that from you. Be secure in Him!

Just Another Day

Have you ever asked someone, "What did you do for your birthday?" Or said to them, "I hope you have a great birthday"? I'm guessing just about all of us have. And have you received this response: "Oh, it's just another day". Or how about, "it's just like any other day". I caught myself saying those exact words the other day when a dear friend sent me a text saying, "are you doing anything special on your birthday?" My response: "it's just another day". As soon as I sent that text I thought, why did I respond like that? Why do I so often feel that? Or the REAL question is, why do I try to convince myself of that? It seems like for the past several years, I psyche myself up for the let down I feel on my birthday. Please don't get me wrong, my husband and kids do a great job loving on me on my birthday. And I do receive so many wonderful well wishes on my birthday. So what is it? What is that longing deep down inside that tries to creep up year after year? And why do I constantly keep pushing it back down "where it belongs" by trying to convince myself it's just another day. And I'm fine...right?

There's a song by Casting Crowns called "Just Another Birthday". I cry every single time I hear it. No, seriously, every single time! There is something in that song that strikes so very close to that longing that I keep shoving deep down inside, even though a lot of that song doesn't necessarily pertain to me. You see, this longing that I have is the longing of knowing I am loved so very much, and that my birthday isn't just another day. I want my dad to actually stop by (because he lives and works within a 2 mile radius of my house and drives by many times) and see me, on my birthday, and tell me happy birthday. I want him to hug me. I mean really hug me. I want him to treat my birthday like I treat my kids' birthdays. I don't want it to be just another day. I don't want a phone call two days later with someone wishing me a happy birthday and saying, "I'm so sorry I forgot. I didn't turn the page on my calendar until today." I don't want to receive a card in the mail from someone who lives 2 MILES AWAY! Good grief, couldn't they just drop it off?

Of course, as I sit here typing this with thoughts swirling around in my head, the guilt is creeping in. I envision it like growing vines, entangling my thoughts until the guilt has won over. Why am I feeling guilty? Because I don't deserve this on my birthday. I don't deserve the well wishes. Do you know how many birthdays I have forgotten? Seriously! I stopped wishing people happy birthday on Facebook because I forgot a few and now, if I start up again, the people I forgot are going to think, "she didn't wish ME a happy birthday." And I FINALLY gave my brother HIS birthday card yesterday! Almost a week late! Oh boy! Who am I to wish for everyone to dote over me on my birthday when I don't do it to others? UGG! Is there any hope for me?

There is a verse in 1 John that says, "See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!" You see, I have come to realize that my birthday is not just another day. And my Daddy, my heavenly Papa, is so rejoicing on my birthday. It the day HE decided I was to be born because there was great things I needed to do for Him. It is a day that I, too, can rejoice because he has brought me through another year. He allowed me to a mom to our four kids for another year. He allowed me to be a wife for another year. (even though I feel like my kids and my husband are ready for an upgrade. HAA) He has given me so much to enjoy this past year, has been so very faithful through all the ups and downs.

And you know what? YOUR birthday is not just another day either! It is the day God chose to bring YOU into the world to do great things for Him. I hope you know this. I hope you know just how special you are. Not just on your birthday, but every single day. Ephesians 3:17b-19 says: "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord's holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." WOW!

So guess what? Tomorrow's my birthday! Tomorrow I'm going to rejoice in what God has done over the past year and wait anxiously to see what He will do over the coming year. My Papa is rejoicing over me. And He is rejoicing over YOU too. I pray you are filled to the measure of all the fullness of God!

My birthday is NOT just another day! And neither is yours! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!